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Have you ever felt unprotected, caught between doubt and the fear of falling? Your friends encourage you by saying, "Just get it over with!" or "You can do it!" But part of you knows better: it knows that fear is meaningful and wants to protect you from danger. So do you listen to your friends and go for it, or do you pay attention to your fear and back off? Motivation tells you how to climb (a mountain). It reveals what you value, influences the decisions you make at height (high on the mountain), and also makes you aware of the consequences of those decisions. For example, if you are motivated to push fear aside and stop yourself from falling at all costs, you are likely to end up hurt or injured. Everyone falls, and if you have not yet learned how to fall skillfully, one bad outcome can reinforce your fear of falling. This approach reflects the "Get it over with!" motivation, or, in more specific terms in our sport, the old misleading phrase: "Hey man, get up there and do it!" You try to push through your fear so that you no longer have to wrestle with it. But this "all or nothing" way of thinking (all = I do it, I send it; nothing = I do something half-hearted, or I don't try it at all because I'm afraid of falling) pulls your attention away from the present moment and toward an imaginary future in which you never have to face your fear. In climbing, since we almost always try to pick routes that are new to us, routes on which we might fall, this issue shows up again every time. With this mindset, you will soon begin to see falling as something full of fear and anxiety. Fear and stress are unpleasant states, so we avoid them. Yet in this approach, something seems wrong about looking for motivation by running away from something that is fundamental to the sport. Instead, we should approach fear as a teacher that actually helps us understand risk and manage stress. What is needed is a shift in motivation, which we can achieve with the help of the following six questions (in order): 1. Define your goal: Are you getting rid of fear, or accepting falling as a skill? 2. Decide when you are comfortable: in the future or in the present? 3. Clarify your relationship with stress and fear: Do you get rid of them, or honor them as teachers? 4. Choose how you start: with all-or-nothing thinking, or with small steps? 5. Decide for yourself: Do you tie your identity to the outcome, or do you separate the two? 6. Decide who makes the decision: you or your friends? As you look over the list, answer the questions. Every time you choose the first option, you are taking the "Get it over with!" approach. In this situation, you react as you shift into the all-or-nothing, fight-or-flight survival mode. Either you fight with everything you have and get past the difficulties without falling, or you flee and do nothing in particular. Your ego drives this whole process: it hopes you will succeed, proving how tough you are, or it makes excuses to talk you out of climbing. All it takes to control fear and stress is to answer the six questions above skillfully. Choosing the second option in all six gives you a focused mindset. This is how we move from faulty, mistaken thinking toward healthier, more purposeful thinking. The aim of "focused" motivation is to learn falling as a skill, so that you can manage your fear and stress intelligently. In turn, this allows you to take small, achievable steps and to rely on how much fear and resistance you actually feel, rather than on the opinions of your friends or your ego. A small step toward stress, like taking progressively bigger steps each time, frees you from this frightening problem, and besides creating less stress, it builds a sense of resilience, which is good. This resistance shows that you are no longer in your comfort zone; in fact, you are entering the stress zone, where learning happens. But you have not yet reached the panic zone, where emotions take over and you can no longer learn anything. Instead, you are the driving force behind these processes, integrating falling as a skill by identifying and taking small steps toward managing the situation. So when you are exposed, do not use the phrase "get it over with" while you are stuck and hesitating; focus instead. It will help you understand the value of your fear and make choices with more manageable consequences. By focusing, you will be able to act skillfully at critical moments such as a fall. This way you will also enjoy the whole climbing process more, which is what you came to the mountain for. Focus Following the six steps below, let go of the thrill-seeking, overambitious mindset and think more openly and with greater focus: 1. Define your goal: learning to fall as a skill 2. When are you comfortable: right now 3. The relationship between fear and stress: honor them as your teachers 4. How to start: with small, manageable steps 5. Ego: separate your identity from the consequences of your actions 6. Who chooses: you!